by Wayne Morsky
We are a Regina group called Weekend Dads of Saskatchewan. We consist of approximately 100-plus members of men and women who originally formed to be a support group for parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles of children who have fallen victim of divorce.
Amidst the obvious despair non-custodial parents (usually fathers) face, we have decided that we needed to become more of an advocacy/lobby group in the name of helping our damaged children who suffer the misfortune of not being able to form meaningful relationships with the non-custodial parent.
We have been subjected to the old myth that when a divorce transpires, it is "too disruptive for the children to be jostled from one home to another," thereby, the custody decisions made by our justice system favor giving sole custody to the mother 86% of the time when argued by both parents with limited rights of access. If it's too disruptive to go to a non-custodial parent's home so that a meaningful, self-esteem-building relationship can be formed, then it too must be "disruptive" to send your children to school, have them return for lunch, send them back to school in the afternoon, then to have them return back home at the end of the day...every day. Of course this is ridiculous, but in both scenarios our children reap considerable benefits!
A father who is not divorced, and who only saw his children every second weekend due to a heavy work-load, golf, baseball, hockey, nights with the boys...whatever, would be deemed a neglectful parent by most of society. We agree. Why is it, then, that when a couple divorces, our society and justice system deems every second weekend access to a non-custodial parent's children the "norm," and what's "in the children's best interest?" It's obvious by this comparison that children are suffering extreme emotional hardship due to our present gender-biased system.
To further complicate matters, Bill C-41, is being rammed through in Ottawa. The Bill is totally unfair to non-custodial parents and along with recent amendments to the Income Tax Act, results in a "tax-grab" for the Federal Government and less disposable income for the family unit (ultimately the children).
We submit that all non-custodial parents, father groups and even child advocacy groups across Canada band together under one umbrella organization named the "National Shared Parenting Association" of Canada. If nothing more than a name, the National Shared Parenting Association will have "clout" when approaching politicians and policy-makers, from the Provincial Ministers of Justice to Allan Rock, himself.
We all seem to have common goals as they relate to what's truly in the best interest of our children:
In grouping together, you can still keep your individual group's name and use the National name, or if you choose as we have, you can simply call yourselves members of the National Shared Parenting Association, Regina (or Vancouver, or Halifax, etc.). One thing that we all seem to be lacking is unity and a strong national voice. Uniting under one umbrella group should help to solve this dilemma as well as adding strength and additional credibility to our destiny.
We are also proposing to hold a national convention, where all members of the National Shared Parenting Association can meet. At this convention, will be a variety of speakers, and we hope to hold it during a weekend in mid-April. We can either hold the convention in Regina or another city if any of you out would like to do so, as we in Regina aren't quite as organized as some of the other groups in the country. We are proposing the idea of a convention; if no-one else wants to hold a convention in their city, we will host it. We will solicit sponsorship from a local hotel for the banquet room, ask for special room rates for all convention guests, try to arrange a special rate with one of the major airlines, etc. If anyone is interested in this venture, please call us as soon as possible!
Senator Anne Cools has been leading a revolt toward Bill C-41 in Ottawa. The Globe and Mail and other media, including the CBC, have been covering our efforts and progress. Regina family and member Randy Liberet and children have been recently featured in the February 10/97 MacLean's magazine, including quotes from Senator Cools. The Globe and Mail is doing a major (true-grit) story in the February 8/97 edition. Our Regina Leader Post newspaper is doing a second 2-page spread We have also been on CKCK TV and next week on Cable Regina.
We have no intention of doing this alone. It's critical that we all group together and provide input into the preceding ideas and any others you feel would help organize this association. Senator Cools, other Senators and a myriad of other people, including the media think our efforts to bond are wise and noble. Please call us, fax us or E-mail us. We will get back to you within the next week.
Phone: 306-545-3764
Fax: 306-543-8077
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