The Backlash! - July 1997

Things that make you go, "hmmm"

In this column, we pose a few questions and raise some issues. The purpose is to put a slightly different spin on each than you may have seen before, and to promote discussion. In fact, as you read this column, you may even decide you want to write an article about one of them for The Backlash!

When I addressed a women's studies class (comprised of a few guys and about 30 young white women) at the University of Washington, recently, the angriest attacks came from members of the class who were enraged that in The Backlash we sometimes stoop to the same rhetorical tactics as Catharine MacKinnon, Patricia Ireland, Naomi Wolf and other high-visibility members of the privileged oppressed.
When cybersex comes to VR, will men be accused of sexual harassment for putting up server "centerfolds"?
Years ago, racists had a saying: "The only good injun is a dead injun." Now, pop feminists have theirs: "The only men who are right are the men who agree they are wrong."
Decades ago, feminists demanded that men listen. Men listened. And listened. And listened. Until, finally, after decades of listening, they began to ask if maybe they had done nothing but listen long enough. The time has come for men to do some of the talking, and women to do some of the listening.
One-on-one or to small groups, pop feminist leaders are very good about "admitting" they may have been mistaken about some things, and that maybe they need to change, but most of it is for show. Few of them change their tactics as the result of criticism, unless it's to become more covert.
Do women prefer men who have the roving eye because such men present a challenge? Because women are so competitive?
It is men's way to get ahead by being (or appearing to be) a source of solutions. Is it women's to be (or appear to be) a source of problems?
Recently, I told a woman about how a company she works for and enthusiastically supports had discriminated against a man there on the basis of his sex. Her response was typical of what we have come to expect from the liberated, morally superior white American woman today: "I'm sorry I brought it up."
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but if I'm a woman only words can all but kill me for which I must charge you with sexual harassment, assault, rape, or anything else Catharine MacKinnon can dream up.
Next time a woman tells you men have it better than women do, ask her, "When was the last time you were a man?" When she says never or mutters something inane, say, "Then how do you know?" If an uninformed or privileged male says, "As a man I can say men have it better," ask him, "When was the last time you were a woman?" To both, note that we can make absolute statements about our subjective experiences, but we cannot generalize from them without the support of objectively verifiable data, and the objective facts do not support the contention that men, at least American and Canadian men, have it better than women. If they ask you for supporting evidence, refer them to The Backlash!
Feminist extremists want a backlash the way General Patton wanted war, and they want rapists the way he wanted the Nazis.
There is a difference between a woman who goes onto AFDC after her husband abandons her with the kids, and a woman who carouses around and then expects society to subsidize her irresponsibility.
During the 1970s, feminists were quite outspoken in their belief that marriage should be replaced by AFDC.
Pop feminists call men who cite statistics to prove women are better off than they are, whiners. So, what does that make women who complain they are worse off than men?
Why is it that when a 13-year old girl wants an abortion, she's adult enough to do so without her parents consent, and women who do drugs while pregnant have the right to not be punished for their irresponsibility, but when a 29-year old woman has sex while under the influence of alcohol, suddenly she's neither old enough nor responsible enough to be held accountable for her own decisions?
Pop feminists like to harangue men's unwillingness to admit mistakes, but let someone point out how a woman made a mistake, and suddenly it's "blaming the victim."
Asking women to admit the things that, upon reflection, they would have done differently is not the same thing as "blaming the victim." If we never admit our mistakes, we will never learn from them.
Women's uncompensated relationship-maintenance work in the home as mother and wife is called "undervalued", while men's uncompensated relationship-sales work is called sexual harassment.
The YWCA has begun an annual Week Without Violence campaign. A fine idea. How about a related program titled, Week Without Blame, to focus on all perpetrators rather than ignoring the violence women do.
In the wake of welfare reform, many are worried about the loss of a "safety net" for women and children. Who cares about a safety net for men and children?
Many civic and political organizations call on women and men to work to further the welfare of...men and women? No, just women. Is this equality?
Decades ago, society winked at the young man who needed to "sow his wild oats," and frowned at the young woman whom he sowed. Now, society hates the young "rapist" who "sows his wild oats," but applauds the liberated young woman who seeks her own pleasure with the "rapist." Is replacing one double standard with another progress?
Pop feminists say men who disapprove of teenage girls having sex are sexist; then, when girls have sex and get pregnant by boys who are too young to behave responsibly, they blame the boys. "It takes two to tango."
Pop feminists complain the job market doesn't "respect" women who take time off to raise children, yet they ignore that the market is even less forgiving of men who take time off (for any reason, with the exception of going back to school to work on an advanced degree).
When a woman is depressed, all men are to blame and she needs drugs and sympathy; when a man is depressed, he's just a loser.
When a husband and wife do things around the house, she says, "He helps." When he builds a new garage, she says, "We built a new garage."
Men tend to see women as bed warmers, women tend to see men as bed builders. Pop feminists encourage women to resent the way men tend to see them. Maybe it's time men resent the way women tend to see us.

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