The Backlash! - January 1997

Organization News - Fathers' Rights & Equality Exchange
(415) 853-6877 -- 701 Welch Rd. #323 Palo Alto, CA 94304

Putting Grief to Work

by Brent Wellman, Associate Director, Director for Legislative Affairs

There is an interesting article in the December 6, 1996, issue of USA Today titled "Public Sympathy Ensures their Message is Heard." It concerns folks like Mark Klaas and Candy Lightner and John Walsh, who have taken personal tragedies [respectively, the kidnap, rape and murder of a daughter; the senseless killing of a daughter by a [senseless] repeat-offending DUI driver; and the unsolved murder of a son], and turned them into "careers" in activism. Some experts claim that individuals like these are creating "healthy outlets for their grief."

If you have access to a copy of USA Today, I recommend reading this.

I have not suffered quite the level of victimization that these individuals have. My daughter was not raped, murdered, or mysteriously vanished (at least, not literally). The divorce system simply performed a "paterectomy" on her.

Some of you have had the same or worse visited upon your children. There is a lot of grief out there, and much of it manifests itself as anger. The way that I personally, dealt with the grief (and [mostly] avoided the "anger trap") was through activism in F.R.E.E.TM. Not to the level of a John Walsh (who hosts the TV show "America's Most Wanted"), but, then again, I can (occasionally) hug my child, which he cannot.

And believe me, I sympathize with and understand those of you who cannot.

Since the end of the year tends to lead us to self-assessment, let me suggest that helping to get the message that "Fathers are Parents, Too," be something to consider.

The USA Today piece also points out that many prefer to "keep their grief private." We'll respect that, too, and I am working on an anger-management page for our website (Dean Hughson's site is good for the greiving, as well). Look for it in January or so.

If you are interested in a more active role in the fathers' rights movement, have a little time on your hands (or can make some), AND you want a way to get your mind off that empty bedroom down the hall...email Anne or me to get active.

Media alert!!! America Online

On December 3, 1996, AOL sponsored a dad-bashing session on the "Evenings with Eva" section of this service at 9:00 pm Eastern 6:00 pm Pacific; it was guest hosted by Trish Wilson, alias ASHERAH, one of the most rabid gender-feminists around.

This particular "person" has been around for a while, but I haven't seen her fringe views legitimized like this before. For those of you who slept through your course in Middle Eastern Mythologies ;-), her screen name, ASHERAH, is the name of a Caananite goddess. Asherah was represented in their religious ceremonies by a wooden post or phallus. By adopting this name, Ms. Wilson hopes to be some sort of female penis.

It may also profit AOL for their management to hear your views on their giving this kook the time of day, much less the limelight like this (some of my effective letter writing techniques would be helpful here -- see the website).

Here is AOL's announcement:

Let's talk with our guest, Trish Wilson, aka Asherah 3, on Tuesday, December 3rd, at 9PM, ET. She'll be there to answer these questions and many more.

Trish is a writer and activist who has been working on exposing the fathers' rights lobby for the past two years. She has been working with the National Organization for Women's Clearinghouse Against The Fathers' Rights Movement. Her article "Will Paternal Paranoia Triumph? The Organization of Angry Dads" is available in the Winter 1997 issue of "On The Issues," which is now on newstands. Previous articles about the fathers rights movement, domestic violence and right wing politics have been published in "Voices of Women," "The Interactivist," "Challenges," and "Women Leaders Online."

To get to the Conference, use Keyword: EWE. The click on the graphic, which will take you to the conference room.

You really oughta be in pictures...

by Anne P. Mitchell, Esq.

I have personally been offered the unique opportunity to put together two separate "panels" to then pitch to the producers of some of the more credible, national level shows (Leeza, Oprah, etc.). We (I and my contact) have decided to focus on the following:

  1. Fathers who have been falsely accused of sexual abuse of their children (because it is such a heinous and destructive action), and

  2. Vanishing mothers (i.e. fathers who have custody and the mother has disappeared) (because it shows both that fathers are caring, nurturing parents, and that just because one is female doesn't mean one possesses a superior and innate "maternal bond").
If you would be interested in taking part in either such show, and meet the following requirements:
  1. Able and willing to appear on national television, provided that your travel expenses are paid for; and

  2. Able and willing to discuss your relevant situation on national television; and either:
    1. Were falsely accused of sexually abusing your child as a way of pushing you out of your child's life, and you were either cleared, or the accusation was dropped or not followed up on;

      OR

    2. You currently have custody of your child, either by order or default, and they are living with you, and their mother has either "vanished" or chosen not to be actively involved in their lives
Then write back to me, with a very brief description of your situation (300 words or less). If you are writing under "a" please include information as to whether you think your ex would be willing to appear as well, to talk about how the allegation came about [yes, some actually do admit to it, particularly if it was someone else, such as an attorney, who suggested filing the false accusation]. Also include information as to whether you currently have time with your children.

If you are writing under "b", please include information as to whether you know where your child's mother is, and whether you would be willing to have her contacted to see if she would come be on the show, and to start being a part of your child's life.

Home January Features Columns OrgNews Boutique Directory Links Definitions

The Backlash! is a feature of New Chivalry Press
Copyright © 1997 by New Chivalry Press

Email to the Editor -- If you don't want it published in the "Email to the Editor" column, say so. Otherwise, it may be published.