I have read hundreds of stories about the percentage of fathers who pay child support, those who pay a part, and those who never pay a cent. I have seen dollar figures for owed child support ranging from hundreds of millions to billions. I've always wondered about these figures because all the men I know want to raise and financially support their children.
Christmas 1994 gave me some insight into this issue when I visited my brother in Illinois. He was livid about how he could not get the government to listen to him even though he has mailed five letters some of them certified with a return receipt.
My nephew had a child out of wedlock when he was 25 years old. His girlfriend went on AFDC and the child support promptly hauled him into court and obtained a child support order. My nephew was very proud to be a father and worked hard to support his child.
A few years later, my nephew was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors. He was operated on several times. Eventually, he became disabled and went on Social Security Disability. Even out of his small monthly check, child support was subtracted. He continued his relationship with the child and cared for the child whenever he could.
My nephew is now three years in arrears on his child support. Back payments and interest compounded monthly have totaled up to thousands of dollars. The Illinois Child Support officials are tenacious in their pursuit of my nephew.
The problem is that my nephew is dead; he is not a deadbeat dad; he is a dead dad. Social Security was smart enough to cut off his monthly payment after being notified of his death. The Illinois Child Support Office has been advised five times with copies of my nephew's death certificates. I had read in various men's newsletters on three occasions that dead people were included in the percentage of those fathers who do not pay child support, but I did not believe it could be possible.
My brother faces personal anguish every time he receives another letter from the child support office. It is difficult for a parent to bury his child; we expect that our children will outlive us. Every time my brother receives a letter, it makes him angry and yet sad as the government in their inefficiency forcibly make him grieve the death of his son. The letters continue; being dead is no excuse for being a deadbeat dad.
There are groups of angry mothers, some greedy mothers, others who have a political ax to grind about male/female and custody issues who use the statistics on child support to bash men. They do not care that dead men are part of their manipulations.
I was far more practical with my counsel for my brother. I told him to send back the letters with a change of address for his son. I told him to put the cemetery's address as the proper return address and at least no further letters would come to his home to violate his privacy and intrude in his grieving process.
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