In this column I pose questions and raise issues. I don't always agree with the conclusion, implied or stated. The purpose is to put a slightly different spin on each item and to promote discussion.

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• By definition, marriage assumes joint physical custody. If marriage that does not end in divorce is the ideal, then so is joint physical custody.

• Politicians are not, by definition, corrupt. By definition, however, corrupt politicians are our elected representatives.

• Pop feminists assert most domestic violence studies that indicate women commit as much abuse as men ignore that women do so in the context of conflict initiated by men. Conveniently, they ignore the conflict women create, the ways women emotionally and verbally abuse others.

• Many employers hire and promote people who lie to their face and stab them in the back, and demote or fire people who tell the truth. What kind of company will such practices produce? What kind of people do business with that kind of company? What kind of country do such companies create? Is that the kind of society we want to pass on to our children and grandchildren?

• Was Phil Donahue ever anything other than a bully with an electronic phallus?

• One thing the British "Royals" have never had to do is stand alone. Not even Diana.

• Ever notice how more people are taking less responsibility for making things better, or even maintaining society? If the eighties was the "me decade," will the nineties be known as the "not me decade"?

• When individuals do adhere to a high standard of responsibility and expect others to do the same, one common huffy brush off is, "Well, that's your choice." They're right, being responsible is a matter of choice. An admirable choice. Where they err is their implication that to be irresponsible is an equally admirable choice, or even worthy of respect. It is neither.

• Until the 1960s, our icons included optimists, problem solvers, builders and community creators who counterbalanced the meaner side of society. During the sixties and seventies, whiners, protesters, pouters and easy riders replaced them. By the 1980s, vulgar empire builders, social parasites, new age spiritual darwinists and bullies held such prestige that with few exceptions the rebels became glorified gangbangers. Now, cynics and doomsday prophets break bread with professional victims. What will the turn of the century bring? What will we make it bring?

• If it's "okay" or "understandable" or "her right" for Naomi Wolf to write hateful, hurtful things about all men, and to express "pure anger" aimed at no man in particular but all men in general, then why isn't it "okay" or "understandable" or "our right" for individual men to write hateful, hurtful things about all women, and to express "pure anger" aimed at no woman in particular but all women in general? Think about it, all you Wolf-wannabes.

• Some spammers claim they have a Constitutional right to spam. Wrong. The First Amendment does not protect harassment.

• Women network for the purpose of promoting women's employment opportunities. Why shouldn't men do the same thing for men? Oh, that's different! Men, after all, are the evil oppressors.

• For women to be free, men must be free.

• From the 1960s into the 1990s, many pop feminists used a particular word to describe a moment of realization whenever a woman discovered some way in which she was being oppressed by men: Click. "Lipstick is a patriarchal plot to keep women subjugated in historic bondage." Click! "Making us feel guilty for using lipstick is a patriarchal plot to keep women subjugated in historic bondage." Click! At least, that's what they told us. But their behavior toward men, and the women who refuse to embrace victimhood, suggests they were really using a different word: Clique!

• Driver who smokes: "You don't mind if I blow smoke out my car window, do you?" Driver who does not smoke: "You don't mind if I blow bullets out my car window, do you?"

• Some women think violent behavior is evidence of a strong opinion, and some women think a strong opinion is a sign of violence. The former don't understand why they keep going to bed with abusers, the latter blame it on all men; both are confused.

• "The personal is political" does not mean everything personal is political. Your bowel movement, for example. Of course, if past performance is any indicator, some eco nurturing vegetarian cat worshipping dog hating pop feminist will find a way to make it a feminist issue. "Meat eating causes constipation, meat eating is a red banner of shame hanging over the patriarchal, cat-oppressing, dog-dominated military industrial complex."

• Sexism and racism target all or most members of a group on the basis of grievances toward some or a few members of that group. Sexism and racism are wrong answers to right questions.

• Most sexist and racist practices are where they do most men and whites the least good and most women and minorities the most harm. Blaming most men and whites does no good, ignores where the problems really are, and encourages a siege mentality among most men and whites. Ironically, pop feminists and minority leaders call this siege mentality evidence of sexism and racism. Sadly, they're right: their sexism, their racism.

• If Japanese auto makers were doing what Microsoft is doing with MSIE, it would be called "dumping," and the US Federal government would impose stiff tariffs on them.

• If it's fine for women to use men, then why is it bad for men to use women?

• A scene we'd like to see in a movie -- a young woman is in the army and in combat. She is ordered to fire on the enemy, but refuses until one of the enemy, seeing a woman, makes some "sexist" remark, at which point she grabs up two powered machine guns and mows all of the enemy down.

• If you're not sure the person you're marrying is the right one, then they're not.

• In the predominant religious paradigm it is important for everybody to be bad not merely because divine perfection is a standard to follow, but because to admit some people are good would be to admit we have a choice. It's one thing to be bad if we all agree we're bad by nature; it's another to be bad when there are exceptions who prove we are free to choose.

• Pop feminists assert young people are going to have sex and there's nothing we can do to prevent it so we may as well make it as safe as possible for them. What they're really saying is, in their philosophy women of any age have the right to have sex whenever and with whomever they want (and blame men for any undesired consequences), so it's up to men to minimize or pay for all undesired consequences.

• When a woman talks about pregnancy and the pain of labor, it's "your child." But during divorce, it's "my child."