"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining"

You may have seen Judge Sheindlin on TV talk shows promoting her new book about her experiences on the bench and her view of the justice system as practiced by the courts.

Perhaps the word "salty" best descibes her personality.

Steve Lamberg, joint custody activist from New York, strongly recommneds the book. It appears that her views on joint custody and mediation are refreshing:

"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining" by America's toughest Family Court Judge, Judy Sheindlin speaks out by Harper Collins press 1996.
Chapter 6: Custody Battles are Battles without winners! She states Presumption of joint custody is LONG overdue! Please pick this book up today and pass the word. Also she states the courts promote wars and ultimate victims are the children. Recommends 6 weeks madatory mediation before a custody trial.

"The current biased system is run by reality-impaired ideolgues". She is great....Trying to draft her for advocacy of joint custody presumption.

BJS Data Report, 1989

At current homicide rates, the lifetime chance of being a murder victim is:

1 in 30 for black males

1 in 179 for white males

1 in 132 for black females

1 in 495 for white females

Domestic Violence

Wives or girlfriends assault 2 million men every year (1.8 million women are assaulted by their spouses)

54% of all domestic violence termed severe. Over 2/3 of the child abuse committed by a parent is committed by the mother!

Mothers (55%) are more likely the fathers (45%) to murder their children

Mothers kill sons (64%) more often than daughters (36%), and 78% of the child victims are under age 11.

One study of inner city child abuse found that 49% of all child abuse is committed by single parent mothers.

How many men kill their children? How many men kill their spouses?

Murder among spouses is about 50-50 (when women not charged are included) while women are more likely to kill their children and those children are most likely to be very young, the most vulnerable of the age groups.

Boys are the target of choice, with mothers killing sons (64%) more often than daughters (34%).

FAMILY VIOLENCE FV 118

Justice Report Reflects Dual Nature of Spousal Homicide - Mothers Most Likely to Murder Their Children

A report issued today by the Department of Justice indicates that men and women are equally capable of committing spousal homicide.¹ The study consists of a sampling from the 75 largest counties representing over 1/2 of the murders in the country, and excludes cases where no charges were filed because of credible claims of self defense or other excuse. The murders were committed in 1988 or earlier and at least one murder defendant in the case was disposed by the court in 1988. Not included are cases of negligent manslaughter, involuntary manslaughter, or attempted murder.²

If a parent murdered his or her child:

the murderer was most often the mother (55%) rather than the father (45%) (pg. 1)
78% of the child victims were 11 years of age or younger (pg. 6)
mothers killed sons (64%) more often than they killed daughters (36%) (pp. 1, 4)
fathers killed sons (48%) and daughters (52%) with approximately equal frequency (pp. 1, 4)
the murder was preceded by child abuse in 79% of the cases (pg. 5)

When only those persons charged with murder are counted, data reveals that:³

41% of the murderers were women who killed their husbands (pg. 1)
59% were men who killed their wives (pg. 1)
56% of defendants had a prior criminal record (pg. 1)

Among black families:

53% of the killers were men who killed their wives (pg. 1)
47% were women who killed their husbands (pg. 1)

Implications for prevention:

Children living in abusive families should be monitored more closely with priority given to those children whose parents have a criminal record.
Society must recognize that women are equal partners in the cycle of family violence.
Courts must begin to order treatment for women who commit an act of family violence.
Parents must be taught methods to discipline young children without resorting to violence.
Mothers must learn disciplinary techniques which recognize that boys are as fragile as girls.

1 NCJ-143498. Murder in Families.
2 Some infant and young child deaths might usually be included in this group, but are omitted from NCJ-143498.
3 It is unclear whether the data reflect women who hire or entice someone to kill their spouse, a rather common phenomena. If the data do not, then including those women would give a ratio nearer 50-50.

Women & Domestic Violence

Some Research That Balances the Picture a Bit

by Hugh Nations, Esq.

Only 17 out of 100 women who kill will serve significant prison time. (Wilbanks, W. "Murdered Women and Women Who Murder: A Critique of the Literature." In Rafter, N.H., and Stanko, E.A., "Judge, Lawyer, Victim, Thief: Women, Gender Roles and Criminal Justice," Boston: Northeastern University Press, 1982, pp. 151-180.)
Though females commit one out of every eight homicides and about one- third of domestic homicides, they constitute only one out of every 100 inmates on Death Row. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, "Capital Punishment 1988"; Uniform Crime Reports 1991.)
"If violence against men is recognized in history, recognized by law, recognized by the comic strips, why has there been almost no attention given to this problem? There are several reasons: First...case material has been lacking for abused males. Second, selective inattention, both by the media and by the researchers has been an influence...IT IS NOT LIKELY THAT FEMINIST RESEARCHERS AND COUNSELORS WILL PUBLICLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MALES MIGHT ALSO BE VICTIMS [emphasis supplied]. (Steinmetz, Suzanne K. "Women and Violence: Victims and Perpetrators." American Journal of Psychotherapy, No. 3, July 1980.)
Of urban spouses convicted of murdering a spouse, 41 per cent are wives. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justices, "Murder in Families," July 1994.)
Of urban parents convicted of murdering offspring, 55 percent are mothers. Sixty-four percent of the time it is a son whom she kills. (Id.)
Of every 100 children seriously injured by abusers, 62 are boys. (Steinmetz, id.)
Of every 100 dating couples, 33 men commit a violent act -- but 39 women also commit such acts. (Sugarman, David B., & Hotaling, Gerald T. Chapter 1, "Violence in Dating Relationships." (Pirog-Good, Maureen A., & Stets, Jane E. (ed). New York: Praeger, 1989.)
Seventy-seven percent of women in battered womens shelters assaulted their partners in the year before entering the shelter, and 42 percent will assault their partners in the six months after leaving the shelter. (Giles-Sims, Jean. "Wife- Battering: A Systems Theory Approach." New York: The Guilford Press, 1983.)
Twenty-five percent of women in dating relationships admit that they have used physical force at some time to impose their will on their partners. (Walker, Lenore E. "The Battered Woman Syndrome." New York: Springer Publishing Co., 1984, p. 174.)
Fifty-eight percent of homicides by women are premeditated. (Mann, Coramae Richey, Ph.D. "Getting Even? Women Who Kill in Domestic Encounters." Justice Quarterly, No. 1, March 1988.)
Of every 100 women who kill in domestic situations, 78 have criminal histories and 55 have a history of violence. (Mann, id).
Eighty-two percent of domestic assaults on men involve weapons used by females; 25 percent involve weapons used by males. (McLeod, M. "Women Against Men: An Examination of Domestic Violence Based on an Analysis of Official Data and National Victimization Data." Justice Quarterly 1(2), 1984, pp. 171-193.)
Twelve percent of gay males have been victims of coercive sex by gay male partners versus 31 percent of lesbians victimized by lesbian partners. (Waterman, Caroline K., Dawson, M.A., & Bologna, Michael J. "Sexual Coercion in Gay Male and Lesbian Relationships: Predictors and Implications for Support Services." The Journal of Sex Research, No. 1, Feb. 1989, pp. 118-124.)

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The Backlash! - August 1996

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