Women say they want understanding, but they end up being attracted to a dominating guy. The guy who dominates sexually or is aggressive turns them on.
Men have defined femininity since its inception. Maybe briefly during the '70s when women had some balls and were actually trying to redefine themselves did they try to reunderstand the word.
The Victorian attitude which insists that woman has no appetite at all and must make no demands is a defence against the fear of the opposite extreme -- that woman is all appetite, all demands.