The studio audience was stacked against him. But Mel nonetheless made point after point about PEOPLE being sexually violated. On this page I sometimes wax toward the glamour and glory of high flame, highly visible activism, but the reality is that now and then it boils down to simply one person against a hostile, inflamed, prejudiced and bigoted world. And sheer fortitude and guts are prerequisite. (You try arguing for a balanced, preventative, gender-neutral approach to rape, when "they" have stacked the audience with vocal (and legitimately angry) 14 year old girls who have been raped.)
In case you're wondering where I am going: Mel Feit has virtually single-handedly broken open the electronic media to "men's" issues over the last decade, and he has done so in the face of deafening screams of bigotry and hostility; and now it is time for you, the public, to support this movement with your time and your finances. We cannot do it without you. Thank-you.
Editor's note: On March 13th, Terry Keeny, one of the producers of the Marc Walberg show, contacted me. I have done enough shows to know how grueling they can be. (Indeed, I met Mel on a bitterly cold March morning in 1992 on Night Talk with Jane Whitney in Boston, the first nationally syndicated TV talkshow I did.)You go onto these shows hoping to find a way through the rhetoric and discuss the issues in a calm, reasoned and unbiased manner, but by the time the show is over all you want to do is find a "Battered Talkshow Guest Shelter" and hide.
When I returned Keeny's call, my sole intent was to recommend Mel Feit for their show. There are many men's and equalitarian advocates who are very good, but in my opinion, Mel is the best.
We've been doing radio talk shows all over the country as a result of the impact of this article, and CNN called on March 15, 1996, to line up a "Backtalk Live" guest. We are making a dent and a difference! All we need to do now is persevere (spell that "step by step").
Day and Date TV Show, Monday, March 4, nationally syndicated. NCM executive director Mel Feit did this show on dead beat dads and whether we should take away their licenses. And he scored point after point on this one.
EMILY's list -- which raises money for women candidates. They announced on March 15th a $10 million campaign to get out the female vote through 2000. The Democratic party will be matching some funding. Call your local or state Democratic party and tell them to stop ignoring men and fathers -- before there is nothing left of the Democratic party. We are in this together -- support humanitarianism and boot-strappism for the little guys, not a gender war!
Wall Street Journal's lead editorial on March 12, 1996, on Tailhook hysteria and double standards. "Ass't Sec. for manpower and Reserve Affairs Barbara S. Pope threatened to resign unless the Navy summarily dismissed every commanding officer with a suite at Tailhook, regardless of his behavior. Navy men's careers were sunk .... but Navy women participating in Tailhook's wilder party traditions walked away from the investigations unscathed." Call and thank them: 212-416-2000. Write: 200 Liberty St., NY, NY 10281.
Wall Street Journal's, March 18, 1996, "Why Johnny Can't Empathize: No Girls in His Class?" Interesting article in which feminist women admit to the double standard of having single sex schools for girls, but insisting their sons go to coed schools. (And if we had MEN teachers or assistants in the classes, the boys would naturally be BETTER behaved, and thus the teacher would NOT have to call on them MORE simply as a behavior control mechanism. Everyone would gain by simply allowing boys the right(!) to male role models in their lives.)
The AAUW is waging gender war. They are running ads in TIME Magazine about shortchanging girls in our education system. Call 800-326-AAUW and tell the American Association of University Women them to stop their gender war and the playing of the victim role. So divisive and counterproductive.
Day and Date TV Show, February 1, 1996, nationally syndicated. NCM executive director Mel Feit did this show on whether a child who does not want to see the non-custodial parent should have to. Lawyer Raoul Felder debated.
So any custodial who brainwashes or poisons the child against the other parent can get away with it if they are good enough brainwashers? So the child gets to decide whether to go to school, go to bed on time, or to visit the grandparents on Thanksgiving? The child decides? Honestly. How about codifying the programming of the child against the non-custodial as severe psychological child abuse and prosecuting the custodial, not rewarding him/her! Mel was at his activist best.
Ann Landers Advice, February 13, 1996, had a great lead letter by a woman who was falsely accused of sexual harassment by another woman. Lost job, wants definition of sexual harassment to be "clarified," and wonders when people will be "protected from groundless accusations." Write to Ann Landers c/o of your local newspaper (in Oregon, and if desperate, Ann Landers, c/o The Oregonian, 1320 SW Broadway, Portland, OR 97201).
Mona Charen, syndicated columnist, February 14, 1996 - had an article on no fault divorce which stated that "fathers simply fade away." Tell her that fathers are driven away. We need visitation enforcement, shared parenting, rewarding cooperation, prosecution of false accusations, etc. Tell her we need "no fault custody!" (see Wall Street Journal letter, above). Write her at: Creators Syndicate, 5777 West Century Blvd., Suite 700, LA, CA 90045.
Newsweek, February 19, 1996, page 72/3 - another article on Michigan's no-fault bills. Portrays dad as running off in lead example of problem. But at least it is coverage of failure of the "great social experiment for the last 40 years."
US News & World Report, February 19, 1996, John Leo's column, page 29 - on Dateline, NBC's extremely biased coverage of the ballot initiative in California to end all affirmative action. Leo is good again.
Cynthia Heimel, "Women" column columnist for Playboy Mag was on PBS News Hour with Jim Lehrer on Valentine's Day, February 14, 1996. She said that Valentine's Day was created to make single women feel lousy on that day. Tell her to stop playing the victim role as it demeans women and is a lousy role model for our children. Stop making a career on the necks and backs of our children. Equity feminism, not victim feminism, bigotry, or male bashing. Playboy email: playboy@class.com . Please keep contacting this woman.
Playboy Magazine for February, 1996, has a great MEN Column by Asa Baber on stats on fatherless homes. An entire page! PLAYBOY MAGAZINE for March, 1996 has a good MEN Column by Asa Baber on domestic violence. It goes both ways and is a human problem. Thank him. Email: playboy@class.com .
National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-777-1960. CALL them. "Every 9 seconds a women is beaten and somebody looks the other way," is typical of their disgustingly sexist message. When the recorded message asks for your name and number for their DV Kit, tell them that their gender war, and framing every issue as men versus women, will only make all of these problems worse. They need to be gender-neutral, and approach this as a human problem.
UPDATE: Apparently there have been threats made on this hotline, and the White House is investigating. Please still call, but tread gingerly.
Rent the movie BYE BYE LOVE. A Rob Reiner movie about three divorced dads with kids and visitation. Many positive recommendations, much laughter evoked. (And please let me know of your reactions. Thanks.)
Champs is a new TV sitcom mainly about guys and bonding. (Most sitcoms have a woman theme.) It's on ABC TV, Tuesdays, 9:30 p.m., and just started January 9, 1996. Please let me know your responses on this show.
Please send to me physical copies of stories of serious domestic violence against men. We need the paper, mag, etc. date. We'll compile for our bulletins. NCM Western, PO Box 6481, Portland, OR 97228-6481.
National Center For Men Activism line is 503-727-3686. National and local activism alerts, new info at top, dated, for efficiency of time and money. Please call!
No due process, no hearing, just a permanent ban by executive director Robert Brading, and a stained reputation. He needs your help. Contact Robert Brading and Ms. Leahy. Phone 503-667-7736 (ext. 318 for Brading, ext. 316 for Leahy). fax 503-667-7417. Email Robert Brading and Ms Leahy.
Men are brought up to be independent and self-reliant. So they tend not to join and speak out. And as a result, there is little political clout for men's, father's and non- custodial issues. And everyone is getting hurt. We cannot do this without your support. Our children are going AWOL without two parents. Our marriages are failing because all issues have been framed as men versus women for 30 years, which is extremely divisive. A gender war hurts our children, and provides devastating role models. We must fight to protect our children and our children's right to two parents and a system that rewards cooperation, and our children's right to healthy role models.
Please join. Membership in the NCM is $60, $40, and $30 low income.
Reprinted with permission from the Activism Report of the National Center for Men