Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary defines patriarchy by speaking of a "social
organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family ..." In
every instance where one parent is ranked as supreme by American law, however,
the
In legal terms, family itself is defined around the mother. The child support
system, for example, legally requires that a father's primary obligation be toward
his "first family" (that is, his children with the first mother). They are entitled to
an established percentage of his income and, should he remarry and have
additional children, those additional children (his "second" family) must survive
on whatever might be left.
Since the family unit is defined in terms of the mother, however, women don't
have "second" families. No matter how many children they have with a series of
fathers, it is all one family. If, for example, a mother's welfare jumps from, say,
$600 to $900 when she has her second child (with a second father), the first child
is not expected to continue enjoying the original $600, while the second child
must survive on the extra $300. Rather, the full $900 is for her to allocate as she
sees fit within her one family. The ancient patriarchal focus was upon the first
son, but the contemporary matriarchal focus is upon the first mother.
Laws dealing with children born out of wedlock (over one fourth of all children
and over half of black children) are even more matriarchal. The denial of rights to
unwed fathers is proof that a father's parental ties take an indirect route, detouring
through the mother. She is the hub, the intermediary, the primary parent; if he
does not first establish a legal relationship with her, then his legal rights (as
opposed to his legal obligations) are in peril. The matriarchal implications are
clear: only mothers have direct parental relationships.
To illustrate how our society defines "father" in matriarchal terms (that is,
"husband to the mother") rather than in patriarchal terms (that is, "parent to the
child"), consider the case of "Michael H. v. Gerald D." Michael had a
relationship with a woman who was separated from her husband. The woman bore
Michael's child and the three of them lived together for two years, during which
time Michael actively parented Victoria.
The woman eventually reconciled with her husband, and sought to cut off
Michael's relationship with Victoria. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the
constitutionality of a law which decrees that a woman's husband, despite any lack
of biological ties or parenting record, is "the father" simply because he was
married to the mother when she gave birth. Michael never saw Victoria again.
Rickie M. v. Kari S, is further evidence of "the supremacy of the mother in the
clan or family." Upon the birth of their daughter, Kari gave Kelsey to another
couple for adoption. Rickie immediately filed papers asserting that he was the
father, did not consent to the adoption, and wanted to raise his child.
Under California law, the supposedly allpowerful patriarch must jump through
hoops before obtaining any rights. One of them is that he must first take his child
into his home and demonstrate that he has acted like a parent. Since Kari and
other mothers, however, have the power to give (or bargain) away their child
before the father has the opportunity to take the child into his home, mothers have
effective veto power. They can dispose of their children almost like property.
Rickie never saw Kelsey again.
The idea that a child is the property of the mother lay behind a case dealing with
Mrs. Del Zio was awarded $50,000. Although the child was never "part of her
body," anymore than it was part of Mr. Del Zio's body, the amount was
determined under laws dealing with the malicious destruction of property. Mr. Del
Zio was awarded $3. Once again, the mother was supreme and the father was
barely an afterthought.
Similarly, if this were a patriarchy, it would be sperm donors rather than surrogate
mothers who had the right to seek custody of their offspring. And, if this were a
patriarchy, the Amerasian children born in Vietnam would have had no difficulty
entering our country. Their legal obstacle was not that they were halfAmerican,
but rather that it was the wrong half; children born of American mothers overseas
have automatic citizenship. Evidence of matriarchy is pandemic.
Reprinted with permission of Fred Hayward, Executive Director of Men's Rights,
Inc.
Next month: The Matriarchy
[ APRIL 1996 ]
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