A list entitled "Men's Rules for Women" is on the Internet. This list, with comments added in parentheses, is below. The uncommented list could have been ignored, but psychological studies indicate that imbeciles, when not given feedback, grow in their insensitivity and offensiveness. These comments are not directed towards the 98.44% percent of people in this country who are normal, courteous and civil. The comments are for those whose mamas never taught them that: "Those who live in glass houses don't throw stones." May we work together for the greatest good of all.

1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet up when you are done.

   This is one of feminist women's favorite whines. If their minds were not so stupefied by Victim Queens, Naomi Wolf and Susan Faludi, they might have come up with creative solutions to this, one of the greatest injustices to the liberated American female!

2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.

   Yes, indeed, this was the fast food he was raised on -- his mother was too busy emoting in an Angry First Wives club. Except for the beer, but then wine-coolers are not so cool for a real man!

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

   In fact, Ann Landers would approve. We have become used to effeminate liberal American males, who don't know whether they are fish, fowl or flesh.

4. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving of your contempt.

   Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, in many American Princess klatches throughout the country, not all women are loud, crass, pissing, moaning, defeminized bovines who are cultivating their "masculine side".

5. Shopping is not fascinating.

   The hermaphroditic and androgynous doctrines of America's multi-sexual multiple-lover feminist leaders, together with an ample supply of estrogen-mimicking pollutants, have converted many feminist men to the joys of shopping.

6. When he asks for a three-some with you and your best friend, he is only joking.

   He may be joking. But if he is a fetishist from the East or West Coast you had better be careful: He might call you one of "those" words -- like "born-again Christian, orthodox Jew, fundamentalist Moslem, or Mormon" -- and you do not want to be called "that".

7. Unless the answer is yes.

8. In which case, can he videotape it?

   Only if he is a sensitive male, who pays great attention to sound effects that turn on the female such as, for instance, "dirty talk".

9. If you really want a nice guy, stop dating macho ass-holes.

   Unfortunately, your cunt-hole (as opposed to "ass-hole") of a feminist psyche is not turned on by a sensitive wimp. Its preferences have co-evolved with the powerful ass-hole who didn't run for your boobs when the bear was at the cave.

10. The man is always in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and or tending the grill.

    Yes, if he is a normal man. But not if he is an Alan-Aldaesque feminized male, who knows who wears the pants in his domicile.

11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.

    Honey, congratulations on your discriminating intelligence. You have picked a winner!

12. Money does not equate to love. Not even in Nevada.

    Explains why 97% of women do, or want to marry up.

13. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble ( i.e. Micro waving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.

    Scoring lovers know, that to make out with a date, you lay it on thick.

14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

    Not all. Just 98.44%

15. He heard you the first time.

    It must have been the same old whine, so he filtered it out.

16. You know, you can ask him out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little.

    Sure, if you have the gonads to tolerate the rejection.

17. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.

    The jerk never gets it that when you ask to hear about his feelings you do not want to hear about his feelings. You want him to tell you how wonderful and desirable you are, how lucky he is to know you, and how he loves to wait on your every need.

18. Of course he wants another beer.

    If he weren't so dumb, he would try and ply you with another beer. Sorry, forgot you are a liberated American feminist who is too powerless to just say "No."

19. The guy doesn't always have to sleep on the wet spot.

    No, not if he is an equal opportunity lover.

20. Dogs good. Cats bad.

    I always seem to forget our American / liberal / feminist logic: Everyone is unique and special. You must honor multi-culturism and diversity. But, remember, there are absolutely no differences between the ethnic groups or genders, or we will denounce you as "racist" and "sexist."

21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.

    No, you have not transgressed the great liberal / feminist commandment, which is: Physical violence is a no-no, except when against a heterosexual male, when directed at his gonads, and especially if he is White.

22. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through "Showgirls".

    Will the idiot never ever get it that all liberated American females are Princesses. American Princesses do not have to do anything they do not want to. In fact they do not have to do anything at all other than whine!

23. "Fine." is not an acceptable way to end an argument.

    No, not unless she is a feminist on the rag.

24. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.

    Unless your only viable strategy for happiness in life is to fix him.

25. He was not looking at that other girl.

    You betcha he was, if he has a normal male psyche.

26. Well, okay... maybe a little.

27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy...

    But, in the U. S. of A. watch out for the P.C. Gestapo.

28. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.

29. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

    But you are looking for a weak, sensitive pansy who is pooper, so that you can nag the pussy and become a powerful woman.

30. Your (select appropriate item:) butt / boobs/ hair / makeup / legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it / they look damn good. Stop asking.

    Unless you are an unliberated female who needs reassurance about your desirability as a sex object.

31. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm.

    Unless you think pleasing him has benefits for you.

32. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.

    Unless you need him to "support" you by focusing on you and your problems.

33. Remember: That Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.

    But let him know that you are liberated, and not ashamed of the way you are. Also, that you use Nair for your own pleasure, not his.

34. Dirty laundry comes in several categories:
    • Looks fine/smells fine,
    • Looks fine/smells bad,
    • Looks dirty/smells fine.
    Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

    Thanks to affirmative discrimination, some American men get to do the laundry under the tutelage of sniffing bitches.

35. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you're with.

    Some common-sense at last!

36. Of course size matters, and boy, does he have the grand daddy of them all!

    Yes, unless she has the mother of them all!

37. His ( fill in appropriate selections ): bald spot/ beer gut / impossibly thick glasses / impotency / scabby rash, is cute.

    I can see why non-Americans often refer to us as crude and uncouth, but, what the hell: The feminist's ( fill in appropriate selections ): shrewish tongue / hateful mind / fat arse / hairy lips / distended belly / retarded orgasms / arctic frigidity / scaly skin, is a turn-on.

38. Don't hog the covers.

    The selfish brute!

39. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the half-time show to act upon that...

    The beast ought to be ashamed of his natural desires, but East Coast and West Coast perversions are O.K.

40. He does not just want to be friends.

    No, not unless he already has a lover, and she approves.

41. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence: "You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here having freaky circus sex all night?"

    A fantasy that could come true in truly liberated societies!