The Backlash! - October 1996

Organization News - Fathers' Resources Int'l

Dear Paramount Studios/Scott Rudin Productions:

I find myself deeply disturbed in reading that your organizations are perpetuating and promoting the stereotypical myth that ex-husbands deserve what they get - namely a spiteful and vengeful ex-wife, bent on revenge rather than an ex-wife who recognizes the intrinsic value to be found within the spirit of healing through honorable compromise and negotiation.

Too often such revenge seeking is the norm in the wake of tragedy when a marriage fails.

As a result of the enclosed post on your movie: "The First Wives Club", I shall be distributing this message vigorously to my colleagues in the men's movement here in Toronto and elsewhere throughout North America.

It is very likely that they in response will contact their members, who in turn will be informing their friends and colleagues to boycott this movie in huge numbers and quite possibly other product produced by your respective organizations.

Expect that Fathers' Resources International will be preparing a news release objecting to such male bashing and that as a result we are seeking a dialogue to end such stereotypical vilification of any gender. Currently we have a fax broadcast database that includes every major newspaper editorial department as well as every community newspaper in Southern Ontario, Canada. I would expect a similar approach by colleagues across North America.

However, this should not be taken to conclude that we are not open to dialogue on this issue. We are very open to this possibility and hope that you are too.

Consider that if the roles were reversed, (men playing the women's roles in this films, and the women were portrayed in this light), your film would likely never get past the conceptualization stage, for fear of incurring the wrath of organizations such as N.O.W. in the US and N.A.C. in Canada.

As distributors of ideas and concepts that shape public opinion, and as men of vision and creativity, I respectfully suggest that there is as much more profit in promoting healthy views as opposed to exploiting people's weaknesses.

For example, I work in private practice as a paralegal divorce counselor with fathers, helping them to find and apply honorable divorce solutions that focus on healing families in transition. My practice is quite profitable as a result, as many men and their families are seeking healthier alternatives to bitter and protracted divorce litigation.

I believe that this is in line with a trend in our society to seek out healthier lifestyles, such as partaking in fitness programs. The parallel I see is that people are beginning to make healthier choices in their emotional life as well, possibly because they themselves were scarred by divorce as children. I would be an example of such a person.

Therefore I suggest, you might find it much more profitable to get on this trend and be at the forefront of it. Such is the analysis of good market research applied.

I'd like to share with you another perspective: many males will find it curiously disturbing that in an industry where men are the majority, fellow men would pander to special interests of those who would destroy that which we have built together: you from investing capital and creative talent and us from the dollars of the many men who take their families to your films, give allowance to their children so they may attend your films etc.

In your industry, divorce is rampant. Are you really supporting the notion that every father in your industry deserves such treatment? Are you a father? Do you deserve such treatment? Probably not. every human being deserves to be treated with respect and have their integrity assumed. This is how one is able to dis- engage from such vengeful actions as your movie seemingly suggests.

Certainly some of you who read this letter, have been denied parenting time as a result of divorce. Is this humorous? Of course not - it is tragic, in fact epidemic across North America, resulting in much of the violence to be found in today's youth populations as a result of father absence.

Please reconsider developing such scripts in the future, and at very least, please consider issuing a strong public apology to the many fathers and men this film is about to malign in the name of comedy. If you failed to see this point of view previously, please acknowledge your mistake as an honest one.

Perhaps you'd consider a disclaimer of 30 seconds at the beginning of the film that:

1. The producers do not support the bashing of either gender as this film may purport;

2. That the producers support the view that in such situations, the healthiest choice available is to promote healing and moving beyond the pain of a failed relationship;

3. That such choices are always in the best interests of all concerned - especially when children are concerned;

4. That such positive behavior promotes the spread of multi-generational dysfunctional families;

5. That such families most often comes about from a lack of positive role models with well developed conflict resolution skills;

6. That such attitudes as espoused in this film are the #1 characteristic leading to emotional abuse of children which in turn promotes the perpetuation of multi- generational dysfunctionalism within families.

We'd be very pleased to share with our colleagues and media contacts that your organizations are sensitive to the issue of gender vilification and willing to enter into a meaningful dialogue aimed at reducing such destructive cultural archetypes within your products, by promoting healthier choices in one's emotional life.

We'd be very interested in meeting with your representatives in Toronto or discussing this further by telephone. Please contact me at 416-861-0626, should you feel that entering a dialogue might be a constructive way of avoiding a very public misunderstanding.

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